The White Zombie Way

Are you tired of your workers wasting your money? Are your employees missing that get up and go that drives your profit margins? Well, look no further, my friends. The solution is here. My patented White Zombie Way will put your staff and resources back to work for you.

First, let’s be honest. It’s hard to get your minions motivated these days. In an economic slump, ain’t nobody wanna do nothing, amIright? That’s why you need to try the White Zombie Way of keeping your employees alert and active.

The White Zombie Way is easy. Just blare my White Zombie mix tapes all day, everyday through your companies sound system. After your employees hear such powerful anthems like “Super-Charger Heaven” and “More Human Than Human,” they’ll be ready to rip the face off the competition.

That’s really all there is to it. All Zombie, all the time.

And the best part? Once you own the tapes, you can play them around the clock so that your janitors can also hear the music that will haunt their days. Before you know it, they’ll have your carpet so clean, you’ll be able to see yourself in it.

Such is the power of the White Zombie Way. Call now.

Turn your kiss-ass workforce into a kick-ass workforce.

Also available:

The Megadeth Method

The Slayer Solution

And for our European customers, the Rhapsody Ritual

Call now.

Picture courtesy of White Zombie

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Author: Joe McVeigh

I'm a linguist who researches email marketing. I also teach at the University of Jyväskylä in Finland. I write about language and linguistics on my blog, ...And Read All Over, and I write about language and marketing on my other blog, Email and Linguistics.

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