Santorum Samples Vol. 3

Santorum Samples (previously Santorum Bites) are passages from Rick Santorum’s It Takes a Family. They are deliberately taken out of context in an attempt to show that Mr. Santorum is a rational human being. Because we all know that when viewed in context, Rick Santorum is a jackass. Find more samples here.

From pages 236-237:

What I feared the Court would do in Lawrence in striking down the Texas sodomy statute is finally and completely eliminate marriage as a privileged institution in our laws and simply expand the zone of privacy in sexual conduct to all consenting adults. That is exactly what they did: marriage has now completely lost its special place in the law. The Court said in effect that marriage has not only outlived its legal usefulness, it said it is discriminatory to treat people differently based on such an outdated social construct. Therefore, over the past generation, it has decided to change the zone of sexual “privacy” from one man and one woman in marriage to consenting adults, period. So, to paraphrase my own quote above: if consent is the only standard to have your sexual behavior protected by the Constitution, then how can the Court prohibit any consensual sexual behavior among two, three, or more people? The answer is logically, judicially, that you cannot – for other than arbitrary reasons. That is why there have already been several cases filed by polygamists seeking similar constitutional protection on the basis of Lawrence.

Lessons learned:
1. So, gay sex between consenting adults isn’t like polygamy, any sex between consenting adults is – unless those consenting adults are a married man and woman. But of course!
2. Somewhere, two or more people unmarried but consenting adults are having non-traditional sex. There should be a law against that.
3. Coming soon to bookstores: Rick Santorum’s Guide to Who You Can Have Sex With and the Legal Way You Can Have Sex With Them.
4. It’s impossible that anyone in the history of ever has had a worse sex life than Rick Santorum’s wife. Fucking impossible.
5. Also – buttsecks! Bonus!

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Author: Joe McVeigh

I'm a linguist who researches email marketing. I also teach at the University of Jyväskylä in Finland. I write about language and linguistics on my blog, ...And Read All Over, and I write about language and marketing on my other blog, Email and Linguistics.

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