The Lightening Farmer

Friends, there is a new contender for The Best Image in the World for the Back of a Denim Jacket and it is awesome on many levels.

Behold, The Lightening Farmer:

If you’ll remember, the current champion is Jeff Beck’s Guitar Delivering Eagle of Glory:

Although The Lightening Farmer is fresh on the scene, it’s hard to argue that it wouldn’t make a bitching addition to any Levi’s Stud Coat. The frazzy-haired groupies would straight pass out when you let them know it’s a picture of what you plan on doing with her for the next 50 years – having her use your power rod to capture some lightening in her honey jar.

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Jersey Girls Rule, Rep. Michele Bachmann Drools

Cherry Hill, NJ, resident Amy Myers has openly challenged Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann to a debate on the US Constitution, US History, and US Civics. The interesting part? Amy Myers is a sophomore in high school.

The story seems to come from a letter dated April 29, which was then uploaded to CNN’s iReport on May 6. After that, the rest is history, as the story was picked up by Nick Pinto of Minneapolis’ City Pages, Andy Birkey of the Minnesota Independent, and Richard Metzger of Dangerous Minds. And, yes, of course there’s a Facebook page for the cause.

Pictured: Ol’ Crazy Eyes

If Amy Myers of Cherry Hill New Jersey really exists, then I applaud her. If she’s a really real person who really made this challenge, then there are two very important things that could come out of such a debate. One, as Richard Metzger said, he “would pay good money to see [this debate].” He then made the point of how much money could be raised for a women’s charity from such a debate. It could be for a good cause, Michele…

Two, Amy Myers says to Rep. Bachmann in the letter that “The statements you make help to serve an injustice to not only the position of Congresswoman, but women everywhere. Though politically expedient, incorrect comments cast a shadow on your person and by unfortunate proxy, both your supporters and detractors alike often generalize this shadow to women as a whole.” Well, let me be the first to say that the statements Amy makes help to serve a justice to Jersey gals everywhere, who, by unfortunate proxy, often get a bad rap.

So big up yourself, Amy Myers. If you really exist, that is.

Oh man, I hope this is for real.

Gorey Fonts Galore!

OK, not really “galore,” but I did find two fonts based on the artwork and handwriting of the late, great Edward Gorey, author of The Curious Sofa, The Doubtful Guest, and probably most famously, The Gashlycrumb Tinies. “A is for Amy who fell down the stairs…”

The first is called simply Gorey font (follow the link to download). It “was built over the course of an afternoon in 2001 by Dame Hex.” Daniel Steinberg made it play nice with OSX. You can see a sample of it in that fancy new title banner above. Ooh la la, n’est pas?

You’ll have to Googlize the second font, since its creator’s download site seems to be down. It’s called OgdredWeary (an anagram of “Edward Gorey”) and there are many sites offering it for download. You can check out a sample of it below.

The World’s Greatest Superhero

My favorite hero, Superman, has just been ranked first in IGN’s 100 Greatest Comic Book Heroes list. He also just renounced his American citizenship in Action Comics #900, a book that was apparently a bit of a let down for some (I’m still buying it). I’m assuming Clark Kent is still as American as apple pie, so this headline-grabbing plot line isn’t as insane as you would think.

But I thought this would be a perfect time to link to my old hang out, Better Than Sliced Bread, where I first espoused my manlove for Supes.

It’s also a way for me to post a question that in no way needs to be answered – you know, the type of question that comic book nerds will spend hours answering. I know there’s a lot of Superman haters out there, but if we could choose any major superhero to become real, wouldn’t we choose Superman?

Image from IGN. I have no idea who the artist is. Readers?

UPDATED JUNE 23, 2011: Who’s Afraid of Ai WeiWei?

The Chinese government is, that’s who.

Read More:
NPR
Language Log

UPDATE: Here’s the Salty Droid’s thoughts on this whole thing. Chinese government oppression = winning! Chinese people’s freedoms = not so much.

UPDATE: Introducing the Ai WeiWei Fuck Off Bookmarklet! This will at the very lease provide some release. Haven’t you ever wanted to give a website the finger? This one perhaps…

UPDATE – JUNE 1, 2011: Cuban artist Geandy Pavon wasn’t content with just telling websites to fuck off with a silly little bookmarklet, so he took it one step further and told the Chinese to fuck off by projecting Ai WeiWei’s face on the Chinese consulate in NYC. Awesome balls-of-steel move by Pavon found via the Salty Droid. Spread the word.

UPDATE – The New York Times is reporting that Ai WeiWei has been released on “bail.” He will most likely still face charges of tax evasion, but it seems like the Chinese have bowed to international pressure. Sorry to all the other dissidents currently being held and tortured.

How Facebook Can Cure Your Depression & Improve Your Self-Esteem

Are you feeling down in the dumps? Has pressure at work got you stressed out? Do you feel like one of those depressed losers that are always on TV? Are you one of those depressed losers on TV?

Well, well, well, have I got some good news for you? I have just finished researching and developing a system that is 100% guaranteed to kick those blues. 100% sure to turn that frown upside down! 100% proven to keep you from being such an annoying depressed little shit!

It’s called Dr. Joe McVeigh’s Facebook Uphoria Creator & Dignity Umptulator (FUCKU) and with just 3 easy steps, it will have you happier and more self-confident than Lil John at a senior prom. But let me allow the program speak for itself.

Step 1:

Go on Facebook and befriend everyone you went to high school with – the losers, the twats, the trouser stains – the people you never wanted to see again. Don’t worry about these people not accepting your friend request. They won’t. At this stage in the game, they need you more than you need them.

Step 2:

Monitor their status updates. Take careful note of how inane and inconsequential they truly are. Keep a careful eye out for updates with that weepy, poor-me shit.

Step 3:

Take great satisfaction out of the fact that you are not these losers that you are now “friends” with. Earn self-esteem from their sad, pitiful lives.

Step 4 (Bonus step!):

Have fun! Have a drink, go dancing, bump some lines, play some Russian roulette – do whatever you want until you get depressed again and need to log back into Facebook.

Don’t wait! For three easy payments of $24.99, you too could find out how Facebook can sure your depression & improve your self-esteem with my patented FUCKU program. Operators are standing by.

Call now.