Speaking of the OED, filed under People Who Win the Internet is the Amazon reviewer who goes by the simple moniker person. I first stumbled upon this person when I was looking at the OED on Amazon. I noticed that someone gave it a one-star review. Who gives the OED one star, I thought. Then I read the review:
Very slow
I’m at the ABs, and I still can’t get a grip on the plot. Characters enter, are introduced in exhausting detail and then disappear again! Very frustrating. The only time an old character shows up again is in another’s history!
Perhaps things will become clearer when we meet Oxford, English or Dictionary — clearly three key figures.
If you have some time, I recommend reading some of person’s other reviews. They’re hilarious.
Unfortunately, person says that they are not allowed to write reviews anymore. From now on they will be handled by reviewer Pirate the Cool. So be it.
On the bright side, this type of snarky reviewing happens a lot more than I was aware of. Here’s the A.V. Club on some of the more famous examples. Included in that list is a product called Uranium Ore (“for educational and scientific purposes only” butofcourse). Person’s review of the product:
Not very practical
Every time I try and use this, the Libyans show up and steal my DeLorean.
Maybe these reviews are a little ahead of your time. But you kids are gonna love ’em.