Philadelphia, Mississippi – A known racist was murdered here today. Police say that Billy Ray was dragged from his car into a field and beaten before being tossed into a river. His car was then burned and left on a dirt road.
Mr. Ray came from a long line of bigots. Although he not born that way, he had been a racist for almost his entire life, at least since he could fully understand what his racist father was telling him. He hated blacks, Jews, Mexicans, Asians (who he called Gooks), and Catholics (for the most part). His hate is survived by the hate of his mother, two sisters, and brother – all racists.
It is believed that Mr. Ray was approached on a dirt road by three or more people. It is assumed that the perpetrators knew Billy Ray was a racist, and if not, that they soon found out, since it is also assumed that the killers were neither males nor Caucasians.
What does not need to be assumed is how willing Billy Ray was with sharing his feelings about others. In fact, in this regard, he is believed to take after his bigot father, who was often heard bragging about “the time we got them Freedom Summer Yankees.”
Mr. Ray liked to spend his spare time by hanging out with fellow racists and talking about their belief that they were better than other races because of their color – “white” for them and “everything else” for everyone else. If pressed, they weren’t able to back up this belief with any hard evidence.
Mr. Ray often used his brain to think hateful thoughts.
There will most likely not be any charges brought against anybody for the murder of this racist. He will also not be missed.