There’s been a lot of talk on the interwebs about you and your theories about where autism comes from. Mostly everyone seems to think that you are crazypants to say that vaccines caused your child’s autism. I’m writing to say that you’re not crazy at all and I have proof. You see, I’ve been dealing with a similar situation and I think it’s time I reached out to you, Jenny, and the world at large about what’s been going on.
Jenny, World, we’ve been lied to. The wool has been pulled over our eyes. In what may be the greatest medical ruse ever pulled, we have been left in the dark. I’m talking, of course, about the so-called “harmful” nature of tobacco.
See, a lot of self-described “doctors” will tell you that smoking is bad for you. Some will even go so far as to say that all tobacco products are bad for you. But their “claims” just make me wonder: whose interest do they serve? Could it be Big Bubblegum? Hmm? Hmm?
I mean, if smoking is so bad for you, how are cigarette companies still in business? What kind of profession, besides medicine, gets away with killing its clientele and remaining in business? It’s preposterous and I’ve had enough. Enough!
Is it just a coincidence that research done by the tobacco companies has come to the exact opposite conclusions as research done by “actual” “medical” “researchers”? I think not. Jenny, the tobacco companies, like doctors that fake their results, have our best interest at heart. If they didn’t care about people, would they have ever come out with smoother, more refreshing menthol flavored cigarettes? I think not.
Jenny, I think it’s time we joined forces. We’re faced with the same problem. We’ve been spoon-fed reports that go against what we know to be true – that something caused your kid’s autism so it might as well have been vaccines and that something that feels as good as smoking can’t possibly be bad for anyone. We know these things. We don’t need “doctors” telling us otherwise. What do they know?
So, Jenny, support me in my cause to fill the world with tobacco smoke and I pledge to support you in your cause to bring back measles, polio, and all types of poxes. Together we can help each and every non-autistic child enjoy a long, thick drag of sweet, sweet t’backy.